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Monday 11 May

CLEARING UP AFTER THE PARTY

Now the result no one expected has to be set in concrete. Had the Tories expected to win they wouldn't have made so many commitments to spending and tax cuts. Had we expected to lose so badly we'd never have been so cautious. Now both parties can change their clothes and be what they are.

But what are they? Cameron is free to be his own man but even he doesn't seem to know that is after his chameleon years,Osborne is free to do what will be his worst and Boris is free to run the bike shed. Not much talent among the rest because the loss of the Libs has deprived them of talent  Sahid Javid the fitness fanatic in charge of flabby British industry. How blessed the paradise to come.

When government launches onto a sea of troubles with policies that are entirely inappropriate as this one is the best thing opposition can do is shut up and harry the bastards. Naturally Labour has done the opposite. Ed who should have stayed on to preside over change has rushed to resign and a policy debate which should be held over the years has begin already. Total folly which enables a collection of creeps to claim that they knew all along we were on the wrong track with the wrong leader though they omitted to tell us at the time.

Some say we must move to the centre ground  without saying where that is or what it means. Normally it's the long yellow streak in the middle of the road but in a sinking ship it must be the plimsoll line which is now below the water line. Others say we must be more business friendly. I doubt whether any party could have been more business friendly than we were as we set out to show ourselves cautious, respectable deficit-reducing rate-cutting protectors of a nervous business community from the terror of an EU referendum.Yet they stil hated us and clamoured for the Tories because British business is fairly stupid more concerned for tax cuts for their executives than growth and demand.  Business always does better under Labour because we make its customers better off but threaten its perks, privileges and fiddles.

Other canards which will be flown against us more regularly than drones on ISIS are avoid ideology.We did. Speak to the aspirational.We did, as the party of education jobs, expansion and renewal of local government services. Do more for traditional Labour voters attracted to UKIP- Some truth here because we were so Europe friendly but on the other hand we offered jobs apprenticeships more housing and rent controls.

The fact is we were beaten by fear : fear that we'd be dependent on the SNP, fear of the borrowing we'd done to save the banks and fear of economic inexperience and at the last minutes shy Tories who'd not liked to admit that they were going to vote for such a call our incompetent government decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. They'll soon be sorry and the tide will turn our way as they realise their mistake.Then Labour's policies will become relevant and a real alternative to more cuts, dearer housing, stalling growth and the burdens of debt on ordinary people.They were to early and the electorate too nervous to carry us to power in 2015

So wait before junking everything. Wait before choosing a new leader. Harry a government with no majority set to fail and don't rush into another rolling row.  Here Endeth the lesson.

Lapin will leap on. But less frequently.